Antagonist
by Lifelessmidget
Summary: Killua has faced isolation for a greater part of his childhood and muses over it… his encounter with Gon has however shaped a greater part of his life. First fiction in this fandom I have written


Title: Antagonist  
Pairing: Killua/Gon  
Rating: T  
Genre: Drama/Romance  
Summary: Killua has faced isolation for a greater part of his childhood and muses over it… his encounter with Gon has however shaped a greater part of his life.  
Disclaimer: You guys know the rules... need I state them?

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Throughout your life, you were told constantly that one day you would become the heir to that fucking castle and plan out all the assassinations to be carried out. You were sick of the condescending looks they gave you… your family… if you could even call them that. 

Some doubt remained within you about your upbringing, surely you were your father's blood son… but you had the fair side in suggesting that your fat lug of a brother was possibly the outcast of the family. You recalled how he sweat his piggy ass off thrashing you silly with that pathetic excuse for a whip, pain never cut it for you… you neither felt it nor cared much for it. Healing came fast and one could never find a scar on your otherwise flawless body.

Who did he think he was trying to inflict pain upon you? Still, you gave him the upper hand by pretending to act as if you cared… despite being bored out of your wits.

No… the physical act of pain never suited your character.

Isolation, boredom, and the yearning for some form of human activity whether it be conversation with someone who was 'not' a family member or attending psychiatric treatment… whatever! All these feelings came as a rush, you just wanted to get out of this hellhole of a home.

When you got your first taste of freedom, you felt as though a great weight had been lifted from your shoulders, no more killing under the watchful eye of your family… no you were free to do much more than that…

You met him.

The one whom you deemed as something called a 'friend' although you never really suggested the idea out loud, he always seemed to imply it with the childish talks and having a reputation of the worst liar in the world.

Gon Freeks

You didn't expect to see another kid your age at the hunter exam, but there was something about him, so raw and untouched which made you change your mind about your judgement of him. When you first met, he asked your name and you chose not to reply… arrogance and wit were one of your more reputable traits.

It was until his travelling buddy, Leorio made a comment about the skateboard which changed your mind, after hearing Gon defend your place you decided right then and there that it wouldn't be too bad if they knew your name… to be classified as the number on your shirt was just too bland.

Intimacy was the key word you wished.

You progressed well with him by your side… but something edged your emotions. You shared rooms with him and you enjoyed the amount of mischief encountered whenever you were with him.

But… the look on his face when he saw you in your assassin mode made you think, worry even of his judgement. Something scared you.

You walked back to him with the blood dripping from your mutated hand and your cyan eyes clouded over… showing absolutely no glint of regret about the devious act you subjected yourself to.

"Wow Killua… I didn't know you were so powerful!"

His bluntness almost made your neutral face crack in two, you felt like hugging him at that moment but decided against it considering the looks of horror on your fellow companions.

Your mind conjures up a moment in time where he and you shared a bed, regardless of the fact that there were the other participants in the room, Kurapica and Leorio, he insisted that you two sleep on the same bed due to the fact that he finds it more fun (also the fact that there were only three beds to begin with and you didn't fancy sharing with anyone else other than your supposed 'best friend')

That night burned into your mind forever, you were awake most of the time lying there looking out the window of the train, watching as the stars floated in the night sky and all of a sudden you felt a hand snake up and wrap around your torso. Apparently Gon had never heard of personal space before and continued to remain that particular position, snuggling up to your unclothed arm (You wore singlets when you went to sleep… whatever the weather was)

It was somewhat comforting in a way, and you managed to sleep soundly once the initial feeling had settled, having never slept in a position which required another person to 'snuggle' with you. You found it to be… nice.

Quitting the hunter exam without Gon however, proved that there were some things in life that were harder to admit to.

Your older brother Illumi created that sense of fear within you… and once again you were burdened with the isolation and torment you started off with. So once again, you went home… to the mansion which held your childhood memories of blood, torture and tactile behaviour.

What met you there, surprised you thoroughly, your father graciously accepted your happiness as something worth pursuing and wanted sincerely to know all about your travels and endeavours. At first you were reluctant to admit to the fun you were having due to the fear of losing it all in one word… but as you opened up more, your father could see the fault in forcing you to become an assassin.

"You really are happy aren't you, Killua?" He had said, and you could only reply with a grin, but you still felt the guiltiness of leaving Gon to finish the Hunter exam by himself. Your smile wavered at the thought and it was almost as if your father knew of your deepening relationship with your friend.

When you found that Gon had gone through hell and back again in trying to contact you, a feeling of warmth overflowed your senses. Nothing could stop you now that you had your father's blessing and it was the fact that Gon was so persistent in his plans to gain admission into the mansion that allowed you to realise there was more to friendship that met the eye.

There was a time when he said to you that he was glad you were with him, he didn't mind if Kurapica and Leorio went their separate ways, but he confided that it wouldn't be the same without you.

And although that was the moment where you should have confessed your vent up feelings, you remained silent and just smiled at him.

**End**


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